Loving Yourself

Today was a bright blue sunny day. Cold wind, but nice Sun. Spring will be here soon and I cannot wait. Especially after drawing today’s card.

Today’s Self-centered Tarot Card is the 5 of Emotions from the Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck by John Holland. The card has beautiful colors and the wonderful geometry of the golden mean. You can tell the subject is deeply hurt. The pain in his eyes and brow is quite evident as is the covering of his heart chakra with his hands. Although he is now hurting, the Sun is there in the background. The sacred geometry pouring fourth from the man’s heart illustrate the great depth and meaning of events that have transpired.

This card makes me cry. It seems as though I have been struggling so much with my emotions lately. My father had a stroke a couple of years ago that really affected me deeply. Relating to him is quite different. It is hard to face the fact that my dad just cannot be there for me the way he used to be. The person I was romantically involved with at the time dumped me shortly thereafter. I believe that individual was either a divine catalyst or a twin flame. Either way the double whammy really did a number on me.

These events have left me with much the same countenance as the man in the card. Pensive, hurt, and knowing there is a depth here that cannot go unnoticed. Powerful growth is underway. Growth in my ability to love myself. It is not an easy task in this world. Especially after untold number of failed romantic relationships. All of them seeming to fail to bring me to this point. A point where I must speak my own truth and truly pay attention to another’s actions. Actions speak much louder than words.

John Holland says, “Honor your feelings. Only by healing and loving yourself — by letting go of the past — can you continue your journey. The suffering associated with this loss delivers profound wisdom and knowledge for your soul.” Indeed it has delivered me to myself, perhaps the greatest gift of all. Holland provides hope, “Focus all your positive energy on the good in your life and what you’re grateful for. Use your healing energy in this way and try not to focus on what you’ve lost, for new beginnings and happiness are just around the corner.”

~Athena